“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” (Gal. 6:4-5 MSG)
Book Shelf vs Garden
The Christian faith is less a book shelf than a garden. In book shelf spirituality we receive all our doctrines and practices and arrange them like tchotchkes on the wall, to be admired from a distance and dusted once every few months. The goal is to keep them undisturbed, resistant what is actually happening in our lives at any given moment. Tragically, book shelf spirituality prioritizes rigidity over sensitivity - we often end up maintaining a system that does nothing for us and our spiritual growth, leading to denial that faith is not working for us or abandonment of the project altogether.
Conversely, seeing our faith as a garden invites us to pay attention to what is happening in us and around us from season-to-season. Gardening requires patience, a recognition of what is ours to do (like tilling soil or fertilizing) and what is beyond our abilities (sun and rain, rises and falls in temperature). In garden spirituality, we remain open and dynamic with the goal of seeing good things grow as a result of our humility and engagement with the Spirit as we follow God’s lead.
What is a Rule of Life?
We need a “rule of life" to steward vision from God so we don’t get distracted. It is a fact of life that maturity, in any form, does not happen to us spontaneously. The life of the Spirit we are called to live into sees both our passions (what makes our hearts come alive) and our discipline (what we commit to regardless of how we feel) as gifts meant for our liberation.
The “rule of life” has long been a part of the Christian tradition, stretching back to the earliest monastic movements of the 4th century and perfected by Saint Benedict in the 6th century. The word rule may scare some of us who are allergic to legalism, but it derives from the Greek word for “trellis”: a structure that enables a plant such as a grapevine to grow upward and outward in order to produce the best fruit possible. In this image we can see that spiritual disciplines are not mean to put limits on life, but guardrails to help us flourish.
A rule of life arranges spiritual disciplines intentionally to ground us and help us remain focused on what God is doing in our midst. Ideally a rule of life is a living document that we revisit a couple times a year to assess its effect on our spiritual maturity. Most disciplines require a few months of practice before we see actual fruit; many of us do not see the growth we desire because we overload ourselves with tasks to the point of exhaustion or we flit from one activity to the next without allowing them to sink deep into our souls.
What are the Spiritual Disciplines?
Discipline is choosing to position ourselves to the immediacy of God regardless of how we feel in the moment. It can feel confining when we think the Christian life is merely about following rules; but spiritual discipline is freeing when we realize it is about growth into our true selves, found in Christ. Spiritual discipline is not something we manufacture to get close to God, but an opening up of self to receive grace from God to grow. The writer Dallas Willard puts it like this: “Grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning. Earning is an attitude. Effort is an action.”
Spiritual discipline works best through indirection - rather than fixating on what is wrong in our lives, we pivot to healthier rhythms that focus our energy on what truly matters. These small habits form us over time and become part of us - what may feel unnatural at first gradually becomes second nature.
There are many lists of spiritual disciplines out in the world, arranged in all sorts of categories. We will focus on two ways of thinking about the disciplines: what they invite from us, and how they relate to our personalities. Dallas Willard in his book “The Spirit of the Disciplines” gives us two primary lists: Abstinence and Engagement.
Disciplines of Abstinence (Self-Denial)
These are ways of denying ourselves something we want or think we need in order to make space to focus on and connect with God. Disciplines of abstinence are not about proving to God how pious we are or about getting God to do things for us; rather, we empty space in our lives so we might be filled by God.
Solitude: Refraining from interacting with other people in order to be alone with God and be found by him. Loneliness is the fear of being alone; solitude is the joy of being alone with God.
Silence: Not speaking in order to quiet ourselves so we can attend to God’s presence. This discipline trains our minds to slow down as well. Silence can also mean refraining from speaking so that we can listen to others and bless them with our presence. Stillness is a variation of silence that invites our bodies to peace.
Fasting: Going without food or some other necessity/luxury for a period of intense prayer — the fast may be complete, like a day without eating; or partial, like giving up social media for a season. When we give something up, we consider what we want to fill that time and space with in prayer and devotion.
Sabbath: Doing no work to rest in God’s person and provision; praying and playing with God and others. This is the discipline around which all other disciplines are built, and requires forethought into how to manage chores and other responsibilities at other times in order to keep the Sabbath holy - set aside.
Secrecy: Not making our good deeds or qualities known to let God or others receive attention, and to find our sufficiency in God alone. This discipline pushes back against our need to share with others for esteem or so a revelation can be more tangible.
Submission: Not asserting ourselves in order to come under the authority, wisdom, and power of Jesus Christ as our Lord, King, and Master. These are prayers of relinquishment, handing over to Jesus what we may normally just do ourselves.
Disciplines of Engagement (Christ in Community)
These are ways of connecting with God and other people, conversing honestly with them in order to love and be loved. Engagement helps us put into practice ideas we have about God so they can become transformative.
Study: Trusting the Holy Spirit-inspired words of Scripture as our guide, wisdom, and strength for life. There are many forms of study - we might engage in an inductive verse-by-verse study of a book of scripture, or we might focus on a spiritual concept we want to know more about and embody, like “prayer” or “atonement theories”.
Worship: Praising God’s greatness, goodness, and beauty in words, music, ritual, or silence. Musical worship as part of community binds us together as the Body of Christ, while times of private worship help us to focus on God without the temptation to perform for others.
Prayer: Conversing with God about what we’re experiencing and doing together. A good prayer life contains prayer “from the outside-in” using liturgy like a Daily Office to guide us where we might not normally go, and prayers “from the inside-out” that help us express what is within us to God; whether adoration, gratitude, supplication, or confession.
Fellowship: Engaging fellow disciples of Jesus in prayerful conversation or other spiritual practices. The Christian journey is not meant to be one we take up alone; it is not sustainable as a solo venture. As we show up consistently for one another in fellowship, we learn from each other, encourage one another, and point each other to Jesus.
Personal Reflection: Paying attention to our inner world in order to grow in love for God, others, and self. There are many ways we can take a spiritual inventory of what is happening inside our hearts and minds, and process that with the Holy Spirit so we can find wisdom to move forward. Journalling is a great tool for general reflection, and prayer forms like the Daily Examen help guide us through our feelings to truth.
Service: Humbly serving God by overflowing with his love and compassion to others, especially those in need. Service helps us to shed our overly-protective entitlements in order to lift others up, and we discover how true is is that it is more of a blessing to give than to receive. Think of this as “tithing” time as a resource given by God.
Celebration: Practice being grateful both in your own relationship with Christ and with other believers. We are reminded in celebration that we are called to a life of abundance. Celebration of others reminds them how precious they are in the eyes of God.
Confession: Allowing the light of Christ to shine in the dark places of our heart and reveal what has been binding us, so we might be set free. Confession is not self-shaming, but trusting in the kindness of God to lead us to repentance. You may also practice confessing your sins to trusted people who will pray with you and be spiritual allies.
There are many other spiritual disciplines that may be a variation of the ones listed here to some degree, but this list will help you get started. Before we continue, consider the following:
Which of these spiritual disciplines were practiced in my church of origin (if I had one)?
Which disciplines are in some way part of my rhythms right now? How intentional am I with them?
Which disciplines are new concepts to me? What would the fruit they could produce in my life look like?
How do I choose spiritual disciplines for myself?
There are spiritual disciplines we are all called to, such as Sabbath-keeping, generosity, and communal worship. But when tailoring our “rule of life” to our particular situation we can often feel stuck. This is where it helps to consider our personalities, and what specific ideas the Lord might be inviting us to focus on for a season.
One of the most helpful lenses for considering what we might implement in our rhythms is the language of upstream and downstream disciplines.
Upstream disciplines are those that do not come to us naturally that produce growth through friction, like trying to walk through a river against the current. For example, solitude and silence might be difficult for an extravert, while fellowship could be a challenge to an introvert. Regimented times of liturgical prayer are unnatural to those of us who prefer to intuitively move through our day, or fasting might be a real challenge to those of us who don’t like to feel restricted in what we want or feel we deserve.
Downstream disciplines, then, are like casting a boat out into the river and allowing the current to carry us. They are practices that align with our personality’s natural inclinations that just invite a slight shift to make our skills and talents work for our relationship with God. Someone who is naturally pragmatic and loves step-by-step processes might benefit from an inductive Bible study. Someone else who is normally quiet and reserved anyway may find it easy to shift attention to convert moments of quiet into genuine silent reflection on Who God is. Celebration as a discipline will invite someone who loves parties and words of affirmation to consider how God is behind the scenes of all good things in our lives.
Personality systems like the Enneagram or Myers-Briggs are useful in identifying how we see the world, what gives us energy, and what our blindspots are. We can use that information to hone in on spiritual disciplines that help us grow through both friction and what comes relatively naturally to each of us.
Reflect:
Knowing what I know about my personality, what spiritual disciplines feel unnatural or a bother to me?
What spiritual disciplines am I able to participate in with relative ease?
How do I arrange the spiritual disciplines in my week?
Spiritual discipline does not ask, "what do I need to do in order to get it right and be a good person?”, but, "how can I conspire with the Spirit to be formed into the kind of person God has called me to be?”. We are learning how to be in step with the Spirit.
It is easy to overwhelm ourselves by trying to implement every one of these disciplines in our daily or weekly schedule. When we do so, few of them stick and we don’t see the transformation we desire. The point of a “rule of life” is to emphasize quality more than quantity, especially if we are being invited by God to focus one one particular area of our lives for a season.
The easiest way to frame our weekly rhythms is a practice called “21 Squares”. Create a table that is seven columns long and three deep. Write the days of the week along the top, and then morning, afternoon, evening along the left side.
Begin by blocking out your Sabbath. Remember, of all the disciplines this is the one the Lord commanded us to observe because it helps replenish our humanity and defines a week. If you are not in a place in your life right now to devote an entire day, or you need to work up to that, consider beginning with one single square.
Next, consider what ongoing rhythms you have in place, such as Sunday worship(this may also be your Sabbath) or community group. Add those to your squares.
Finally, look over the list of spiritual disciplines above. Pick 2-3 disciplines you would like to implement over the coming six months that will help you maintain your priorities of time with Jesus, time with self, and time with the believing community. Add those to the squares and write out specifically how you will practice them, and for how long. For example, a time of stillness and silence in the morning might require 10-15 minutes with an opening psalm or liturgical prayer; the Daily Examen may need a half hour.
You may feel drawn to a particular discipline, but not know how to go about practicing it. Part of implementing new rhythms is to commit first and then set out to explore how others have gone about putting them into practice. There is a wealth of wisdom in the Christian household across time and denominational boundaries.
What other spiritual rhythms should I consider?
In addition to daily and weekly disciplines, we can step back and look at our month and year for further opportunities to ground ourselves in the work God is doing in and through us.
There are some spiritual disciplines that may prefer a set monthly time. Many people have an hour each month set aside for time with a therapist and/or a spiritual director to submit themselves to someone else’s loving care by exploring the contours of life from a 30,000 foot overarching view. Service is another possible monthly rhythm, both in serving the church community and serving the poor and needy through a variety of non-profits. Devoting one day a month to solitude and prayer, if your schedule allows it, can be invaluable.
Annually we can be blessed immensely by considering times of retreat and vacation. Perhaps a long weekend, unplugged from technology and chores and outside expectations, is what you need to recenter yourself on God so you might re-enter your “normal” life refreshed with your priorities intact. Vacations act like an extended sabbatical and an opportunity for celebration by setting out to explore the goodness of the world God has gifted us.
Monthly and yearly disciplines require a special forward-thinking intentionality to ensure that we are caring for ourselves and our souls before we burn out. They remind us that prevention is better than cure, and they push back against the societal expectations that we are constantly expected to be on call and productive. It is wise to try and parse out times of retreat and vacation to ensure our year remains balanced.
How often should I analyze/change my rule of life?
We are gluttons for instant gratification. Too often we skip across the surface of the spiritual life, trying new experiences until they lose their sheen and we move on to something else. The reality is that God is not in nearly as much of a hurry as we are, and God tends to work very slowly on the deepest things in the human soul. Compulsive analysis (am I doing this right?) can poison the quiet work being done behind the scenes from day-to-day, week-to-week.
It is recommended that you stick to your rule of life for at least three months, if not half a year. In this way you will be led to pass through the moments of disillusion and frustration that may arise by not seeing results in the timeline you instinctively desire. Only after a significant period of time will you be able to look back and see the fingerprint of God in your story to know the fruitfulness of discipline.
It can actually be a good thing to change up our rule of life periodically, if we are not too hasty. Trying different prayer techniques or reading a variety of books, for example, may help us explore what is available to us and what meets our personalities and life situations best. We can always return to the practices that work if something new doesn’t click. The most important thing to filter our decisions through is the commitment to staying attentive to God over time and allowing our lives to be opened up to receive the Spirit’s grace. When we do so, many of the disciplines that began as an upstream slog become as natural to us as breathing.